For a long time now, I've felt uncomfortable in my body. Not in a disliking-of-my-size-and-shape kind of way (no, that's something I'm working on entirely differently), but in a way of just not feeling good.
Not feeling healthy.
Not feeling comfortable.
Not feeling 100%.
And I've fought it. I've seen multiple doctors. I've tried changing my diet. Nothing was really working. And so I was resigning to these feelings of bad and unhealthy and uncomfortable and less than 100%.
(But in a compassionate-towards-myself kind of way, I was trying. I wanted to feel better. I just didn't have the right thoughts around it to make things transform. I understand this now.)
There are a few things I've learned about my body that I know make me feel good, however. Like getting enough water. And sticking to whole foods. And moving every day. And taking my vitamins and supplements. Important things that are all well and good, but nothing that was life-changing.
Now, though, something has shifted. In fact, since the new year, I've felt all areas of my life shifting. But one of the biggest ones? My body. I've learned that my body needs support, just like the rest of me does. It's taken me awhile to figure out what kind of support I need, but once I got really quiet and listened to what my body was telling me, it was easy.
I'm seeing a naturopath, now. A good one. Who I think can help me. I'm getting blood tests done and trying out a new food plan and then I'll see him again to reassess. Medicine that I get excited about is good medicine, I believe.
He's recommended that I try out a strict gluten free and dairy free diet, which I've always suspected I need. It's going to be a little tough, but I've been doing my research and hearing from friends who've done it and finding new recipes to incorporate into my diet. I feel like right now, this is the best step for my body. Cutting out all gluten and dairy just feels soothing and nourishing to my system. I'm hoping it will help with digestion and create some peace in here.
I'm also trying acupuncture. I've wanted to do this for the longest time but it just never really happened (a part of the process I'm learning to honor). When I heard that acupuncture can be really helpful for both anxiety and endometriosis and learned more about it, that was my cue. I did my research and found a practitioner specializing in women's health and even realized my health insurance would cover some of it. All the inspiration fell into place, and then I made it happen.
It isn't an inexpensive path, but once I believed the truth that money is energy and tapped into my feelings towards it more, I no longer felt trapped and paralyzed by the cost of these things. I cut back on spending in other places, and it feels good to willingly hand over money for things I believe in. I never thought I'd say that -- I spend a lot of money per month (for me, anyway!) on support systems, and I actually kind of like parting with it. Imagine that :)
I don't think there's one answer. I think for me I need this mix of support systems, using not only the medicine itself but also the practice of branching out and trying new things and making decisions for myself that feel good to me.
I don't know that these are the answers to all my troubles. Maybe they'll completely cure me, maybe they'll make me feel 20% better, maybe they'll do nothing at all. Maybe I'll end up adding surgery (for the endometriosis) or some other intrusive option. But I'm glad that I'm trying these new things and learning to honor my body with the support systems I've put into place.
I'm finding the support I need. And I like it.
(PS: Any GF eaters out there? I'd love to hear your thoughts/tips!)