It seems I've forgotten how to blog properly, how to put one word behind another and string them along to share what's going on in my world. I've no idea how to start, what to say, how to decide on a topic or an idea or at least some semblance of coherence. I even find myself looking at others' posts, wondering How did this person start this post? and That seems like a normal way of beginning a sentence, yes.
Ridiculous, I know. And yet I'm trying to send myself some compassion in this, some understanding for this epidemic that is comparing-yourself-to-other-people's-work-to-try-and-feel-better-but-inevitably-feeling-worse.
My solution so far has been to stop blogging. My archives have slowly been dwindling down, to some times when I go days and weeks without posting. (I'm sure you've noticed.) I've chalked it up to my natural flow and rhythm, knowing that posting every day for the sake of getting a post up isn't why I blog.
But I have realized that I'm putting too much pressure on myself about this whole blogging business. I worry about what to say and who will read it and what they'll think and how I'll sound. Sound familiar? It's a very comfortable place for me to hang out in, this self-doubt. I've also realized, with a start, that : I'm not really interested in coming to this virtual space, anymore. Ruth Writes doesn't inspire me, it doesn't light me up, it doesn't make me want to put thoughts into words to share with you all. And if I don't want to come here, why should anyone else?
So that's when I decided it. Ruth Writes was no longer serving me. But I did want to keep blogging. After all, there was a time when I loved blogging. And writing. And sharing photos. This current space just wasn't the place to do that, anymore.
Hence, a blog relaunch! Starting on Monday, Ruth Writes is getting a facelift. Actually, probably more like a total body makeover. With a new name, a new design, a new energy, and a new vision. It's not going in a totally new direction, but rather I'll be more focused on the subjects that really interest me, and use them to drive my posts. I'm envisioning a virtual sanctuary, where I feel comfortable hanging out and sharing my truths and being honest, and I'm hoping you will, too.
Have a lovely weekend xx
Despite my radio silence here, I'm guesting today at Manic Mrs. Stone. Hop over and take a look!