Friday, September 28, 2012

dancing around in the gray area.

you are loved, in the mirror 

I want to share here so badly. I have that itch for writing, the kind of writing you do in a quiet cafe on a gray afternoon with soft jazz playing while rain pours outside the window. The kind of writing that gathers you inward, wrapping you in a warm embrace and catching all your jumbled, rambly, unsure words.

Yet the words feel so jumbled and rambly and unsure that it's hard to get them out. Despite the itch.


And so I live in my gray area for a bit longer. I hold onto the jumbled words as my own, shared only to the closest of souls and the pages of my journal. I let the pieces fall around me, trusting them to be caught and held. I let it all go.

It's rather like living in limbo-land. Going about my days without a shred of an idea of how they'll end up, of where I'll be next month, of where my next thought will take me. (They're prone to running wild before I can reign them in.) And yet, despite the limbo, there's a decisiveness about the state. A conscious decision that with each step, though you're positive you're in limbo-land, you'll continue taking those steps.

And so really, it's all about trust.

Trust that this limbo isn't forever. Trust that all I must do is breathe and feel, and breathe and feel again. Trust that letting go of attachment to all these crazy expectations is totally, absolutely necessary and possible. Trust that following my intuition and listening to my body is how I'll know where the next step is. Trust that I'll take that step once it presents itself. Trust that all is unfolding.

It's a lot of trust, this limbo land. An inordinate amount of trust. Sometimes a ridiculously scary amount of trust (okay, all the time).

But choosing to be here, while visualizing being there......it's kind of a magical place.



"Wizards assume success. Master manifesters don't 'wish' or 'hope' that their magic is going to be effective. They know it will be. They rely on the science of it. They believe that on some dimension, another reality already exists and all they need to do is bring that manifestation down to Earth. Pluck."
Danielle LaPorte

12 comments:

  1. It does indeed take a lot of trust. Beautiful words Ruth!

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    1. Oh thank you Cassia. It really does xx

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  2. I love your blog banner picture! - very soft and beautiful. It is very hard sometimes to "let go" and just trust. When I get in a state of overwhelm or lack trust, I give it over to the Universe to handle, trusting that it can handle it better than me, and it does 100% of the time. There is so much power in "letting go" it creates so much space for what needs to come into our lives x

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    1. Yes that's a huge part of it Debbi, that I may have been forgetting....letting go, but also trusting that by letting it go it will be handled better than I can :)

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  3. I've always loved being in that gray area. It's a magical place where anything can happen..so many wonderful possibilities. It's exciting! :)

    Thank you for sharing :)

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    1. It really is, Lori! Thank you for reading xx

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  4. I think we are neighbors in limbo land at the moment, and you've done a beautiful job of articulating the scary trust needed to navigate it.

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  5. "Let nothing disturb thee, Let nothing afright thee. All things are passing.....God never changes." St. Therese

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  6. I just had to come back here today. Thank you again. Gray is good. love you ;-)

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    1. Eeeee love you too :) And I'm glad you came back here, because now I came back here too xo

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