...I've been learning and practicing big lessons, more and more. Movement! The wheels have been turning for some time, and yet they're just beginning to turn enough to create movement.
I'm planning a big blog relaunch, to go live April 9th. I've loved this space in the three years since I started blogging, but it doesn't feel like an easy, college, get-your-thoughts-out-onto-the-screen outlet anymore. Instead, I want to transform it into a sacred online sanctuary. I want it to feel hopeful and magical and beautiful, and I want you to feel that, too. Ruth Writes doesn't serve me in that way, anymore. So on with the new.
(And, secret: this new website will actually be the completion of my very last project in the Creative Goddess e-course. Which I started in August! But the very last project in the course is a big one, and it's just been taking me some time. And! If you're thinking of trying the course or joining the Goddess Circle, a new group starts the Creative course together in the Circle on April 1st, this Sunday. This is one of Leonie's most popular courses, and I can totally vouch for that. Join, join! See my post on the Circle here.)
I'm contemplating a bigger blog post about this coming soon, but Maebel update: After a lot of thinking and mulling and grieving and battling and crying, I decided that Maebel needed a new home. I couldn't give her what she needed, and she couldn't give me what I needed (or rather, what I expected to get). I came really close to handing her off to a stranger who could care for her, but in the end, my parents decided they'd keep her. So, she's still around and growing like a weed, but she's not my sole responsibility now. So far, it's working out perfectly. Not even four months old yet and tripled in weight!
I'm planning to explore acupuncture and herbs and naturopathic medicine for a variety of reasons soon (I already am, actually). Anyone have any experience here? I've dabbled in the herbs and alternative doctors before, but never acupuncture -- I'm a little nervous! I've been thinking about trying it for months now, and now I feel like it's time to make it happen. I love hearing others' stories, so if you have any, share in the comments!
Carmella and I were talking recently about a topic that I can't stop thinking about lately: being and owning and embracing the person you've become. Compared to who I was in high school, or in college, or even just a year or two ago, I've done so much changing and growing and transforming that I wouldn't even recognize myself. We decided that sometimes that can make us look like we're living fake lives or trying to be people we're not, but -- it's the exact opposite, really. It can be scary to try new things and develop new interests and live life in a very different way, but to us -- it's the only way to live. So we're embracing our new selves. Yes.
I feel myself being topped off, filled up again with my wisdom: listening to my body and my Wise Woman, following my intuition's sweet-scented trails, moving slower and more deliberately, accepting only absolute truth and richness into my life, devouring the healthiest blogs and books and sounds.
Usually, the beginning of a new menstrual cycle for me is a challenging time. I often find myself fatigued, upset, triggered, sensitive, disconnected. I usually feel angered by this, mad that my body could be betraying me in this way, mad that a whole week out of every four is spent wasted.
This month though, I feel different. I feel the same fatigue and upset and triggering and sensitivity and disconnectedness, and yet.....it feels.....easier. Ease-ier. Like a natural rhythm of sorts, like this is just how my body wants to be right now. And the ease-iest solution?
Listen to it. Get into pajamas at 3pm if I want. Make 8:30pm my declared bedtime. Only do the bare minimum to get through every day. Drown myself in water and tea. Move even slower. Give myself permission. Eat what foods feel good to me. Make Project Period my first priority.
Perhaps it's the arrival of spring here in New England. It may not last, but the sunny weather and warm temperatures and open windows and general optimism in the air is enough to soak up and hold onto as a talisman of our future, not far off, coming whether we believe it possible or not. Perhaps my body senses this, and senses that the hardest of winter has past, and is feeling warmer and more optimistic, too.
Here's hoping new seasons and daylight and changes are greeting you in your part of the world, too.
Distinguishing between fear of letting go, and fear of space and freedom.
Tomorrow starts the first day of less daycare hours and more writing hours. I've been waiting so long to cut back on the amount of time I spend in that classroom, and tomorrow is the start of it being cut by ten hours per week -- I'm going from about 35 to only 25. (Eee! Ten hours less! This feels monumental.) By doing so, I'm able to accept more freelance writing, resulting in less hours worked and more money earned.
When the moment is right, it can feel like the whole Universe is opened up to you :)